Midnight Thoughts

I hate listening. I hate being involved in somebody else’s life overall, though I love to know them, their life. 

When I listen to someone, my mind often wandering and making wild assumptions. my imagination runs wild, and I can’t control it. As a compensation, I will try to help them, further getting into their life. It annoys me a lot. I can’t even pull my(stupid)self together, yet I’m trying to help people to pull themselves. 

Another thing, sometimes I can’t control myself. I always try to have full control of myself, my thoughts and emotions. but when I feel something (say, admiration) I lost control of myself. I always let myself loose, hoping that said person, the one that I adore will getting used to myself, the real me without any lie. It’s a stupid hope, I know. 

Bottom line, I hate myself so much, I felt extremely apologetic towards my friends who sticks with me until now. 

I made this post at 1 a.m after having a really bad day, even meeting my crush can't fix it :|.

From someone with no self-esteem, but stupidly trying to have one,

Zahra Salsabila

Me

I'm stupid.

I'm ignorant.

I'm hard-headed.

I'm mean.

I'm selfish.

I'm ugly.

Then, why am I here?

Life Update......

SOOOOOOO

Lama banget gue ga buka blog. I don't even know what to write, as i don't think there is any memory worth sharing.

apa ya..... yang gue inget mostly pengalaman buruk doang sih :')

contohnya :

1. IP TERJUN BEBAS

Plz jatoh banget gangerti lagi.......................turun 5.5 poin aduh sakit banget sih. Worse, motivasi yang muncul untuk memperbaiki nilai hanya bertahan 2 bulan. Ugh.

2. Facial essences and facial masks <3

haha kerjaan gue tiap hari adalah mixing a lot of fresh herbs and spices into masks and essences! Asyik bangetsih parah dan sekarang muka gue udah ga sebuluk dulu :'D Cheap and all-natural things, what's not to love? Sekalian refreshing juga sih bikin ginian.

3. ONG

YEZZZZ I MADE SOME OF THE QUESTIONS LOLLLLLL tega deh soal gue, tapi ada juga soal gue yang ga lolos soalnya temanya ga tentang Indonesia (gue jahat tapi bego ya). Ya sudah namanya juga bikin soal tengah malam, otaknya tinggal setengah. Tapi sayang, kontingen smansa empat tim ga ada yang menanggggggg hix sedih.

4. Kepanitiaan, BPM, and all that shizz

Masih ongoing :') pls banget ya semua ekspektasi gue hanyalah sekedar ekspektasi. Quite dissapointing, but, whatever. Cukup sekali sih ikut ginian. Semoga sih ga ada yang bisa ngeyakinin gue buat ikut lagi haha.

5. Laptop rusak

Udah dibenerin for free tapi harus install ulang :') capeque aku bang.

6. Ngajar 

Anak SD kelas 1 the best banget sih Naufal sama Ellard, yang cewe ngeselin soalnya whiny sama caper banget huh capek. SMP kelas 8 dahsyat banget ya diomongin apa juga tetep pegang HP :'D. Yang SMA juga dahsyat tiap minggu nyuruh gue bikin esai bahas Inggris haha. Overall asik sih. Kecuali part dimana cowo kelas 6 yang berisik-berisik ngeselin itu tiap siang neriakin rumah gue "HALO KAK ZAHRANYA ADA GA SIH KOK SAYA GA PERNAH DIAJAR KAK ZAHRA LAGI? MAU SILATURAHMI NIH." 

Kampret emang.

I think that's it. Sampah banget ya ahahahahaha gimana dong emang hidup gue gitu-gitu aja, ga ada yang wow banget. 

Doain zahra ya

semoga

hidupnya jadi lebih terarah, 

lebih termotivasi dalam menjalani aktivitasnya,

cepet pindah rumah,

cepet ketemu jodoh (pls cepetan),

nilainya bisa naik,

ga bego lagi,

dan lainnya.

AAAAMIIIIIN

Bye, and thanks for someone, somewhere, who read this.

mbajah yang galak ga ada ampun grrrrrrr aum